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  • Writer's pictureMelissa

How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

“When you decide to start to do something, do not compare your results with people who have been doing it for years, because if you do this, you will start convincing yourself that you are not good enough”. Frank Saliki, Arise and Shine

How many times have we told ourselves that we aren’t as good as someone else? How many times have we told ourselves that we don’t have the same skills, as much money, education, style, creativity as others?

Many of us have great ideas to write a book, start a business, study abroad and many other things until we find ourselves on social media looking at how other people have done it before us, and then all of a sudden, doubt starts to creep in. Before we know it, we tell ourselves the story of how we are not as good enough, talented enough, or smart enough to even begin taking the next step to achieving your goals.

If you’ve ever found yourself in a moment where you’re spiraling because you’ve been comparing yourself to others, here are a few tips to get you to get you out of that trap and back on track to getting to where you need to be.

  1. In these moments, we must tell ourselves to STOP!

The moment you catch yourself with any little thought of how someone is doing better than you or has something you don’t have, immediately tell yourself to stop. Like a snowball rolling downhill, the faster it goes, the bigger it gets. So the longer you think about what you don’t have or where you’re supposed to be at your age in comparison to everybody and their mother on social media, immediately go to number 2 on this page before the thought gets any bigger.

2. Be grateful for what you have. Taking the time to write out what I am grateful for has shifted my mindset from moments where I felt like I had nothing, to feeling like I was on top of the world.

As a Christian, when I wake up in the morning and I start to thank God for giving me the chance to see another day, instead of focusing on how long my work day will be, I immediately begin to thank Him for waking me up and giving me the opportunity to do all the things that I’ll get to do that day. Getting into a habit of thanking God during difficult times, makes going through the storm a lot easier.

3. Start where you are and do what you can right now, with what you have in front of you. If you’re a writer who wants to release a book, well you need to get yourself on that laptop and start typing. If you want to learn about how you can start a business in your community and you don’t know how or don’t have the funds, but you do have the internet, you can literally type “ how to start a business” and you’ll be flooded with pages of information. Dwelling on what we can’t do takes our focus away from what we can do. When we get to the end of our lives and take a look back, do we want to look back in regret “ I wish I would have…” The more you continue to learn and seek knowledge, the more you’ll feel like anything is possible.

4. Keep going

Just because someone has done something before, or has already done something great in your industry, that doesn't mean that you don't have anything to offer. Stop looking at others as your competition or as someone you need to "beat." Each and everyone of us has experienced life in a different way, and so when we are making comparisons to what others are doing, we must remember that we need get to work and keep going. Someone could see your story and it could be the very thing that transforms their lives.

When others see how you were able to push through all the hardship, pain, and confusion, it’ll inspire them to get started on where they want to be. Remember, life is a journey and not a competition. If we stop in the middle of our journey, we’ll never know what could have been. Your example could be what others need to keep going.

Have you ever found yourself comparing yourself to others? If so, what have you done to get yourself to stop?

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